Quote of the day...

"I think I can speak dog but I can't really understand it."- Aubree Alford age 7

Going, Going, Gone!

Well, the day has come! My parents are official Missionaries! They will be gone for 2 years serving in the Mexico City Temple. Jamie and I got to visit them as well as my whole family before they left. With my parents and most of my family living in California I do not see them often. My parents usually come to Kentucky to visit us once a year. I did not think I would be so sad but I am! I gonna miss talking to my Mom daily. Here are some fun pictures of my family. 7 of us kids were there and that is rare that we are all together so we got some fun pictures. Also in pictures are my Mom's sister and brother, my niece Asjia that I LOVE so much and my good friend Michelle who was baptised last year.

The Wait

Now that my blog is private I feel more comfortable being more "real" when blogging. Can I just say this last year has really SUCKED! Putting that to the side it has also been a year that I have learned a lot about myself. When things go bad I want to... run, hide, cry, get bitter, try to see the good, be thankful,get bitter again,take it out on my husband, wonder why, WHY ME, kinda see why, humble myself, fall to my knees again and repent...feel peace! When it comes down to it though, my foundation is my family and the gospel. I am thankful to have both in my life. We just had our update with LDS Family Services. We have been on the adoption path since 2007 so they needed to update some stuff on us. We talked a little about Christina and our failed adoption. Thinking about it still makes me a little ill. When praying for answers (more like pleading for answers). The answer I got was "Be still." I do not sit still well but that is the answer I got. I wanted to add some pictures of Braden just because he is apart well should a say a piece of my life. I carried this little guy in my heart for 5 months and mourned the loss of him. We move on cause we have to but looking back and trying to figure out what was I supposed to learn from this pain... I see know and will continue to see I am to learn more about myself. How strong I can be, how weak I can be, and how important it is to LEARN from trials.I came across this poem today. It touched my soul.This poem was really neat for me to read and I think many can relate to this poem.

Wait
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait.

"She Hot"

Just something for me to remember and maybe make a few of you laugh.

Luke's first Sunday with his new primary teacher...

Me: How do you like your new teacher bud?

Luke: I like her she hot!

Me: huh?

Luke: SHE HOT!

What a little ham!

Happy Birthday Mom!!

My Mom's birthday was Jan. 6Th and I have been so busy I am just now posting! Happy, Happy birthday MOM!!! A little about my Mom. She just turned 65 (she is one hot senior citizen!) She is full Mexican and makes the worlds best tacos! She gave birth to 7 kids! She loves to dance and loves going to movies with my Dad. She and my Dad are still in LOVE it's kinda gross. JUST KIDDING! She laughs with me, cries with me and feels thankful with me. If she does that with me I know she does that with all my other siblings. She is a fixer... when there is a problem she wants a solution to make it better. She is humble enough to say she is sorry even when it is not warranted. She loves jewelry. She likes cats better than dogs but really likes my dog Minnie. She loves to give her time to the church. When she comes to visit me my lack of kitchen supplies annoys her (well, not really annoys her but she does always buy me a kitchen supply she feels I need). In Feb. her and my Dad get to FINALLY go on their mission for the church! I am so excited for them. This is a long time dream for them. All these things listed are just a few that come to mind. Mom-- So glad to have you in my life. You are not just a Mother but a friend. Thank you for loving me always. I love you!!!

Venting and the reason for the private blog

So most people know Jamie and I started the adoption process in 2007. Since we were matched and then had a failed adoption. Later found out she was not fully planning on placing the baby she just enjoyed the extra money she received. The only way to look at it without putting a sugar coating on it was she was money scamming which was confirmed by her boyfriend. NOW we have been contacted by another individual who does not want money just our emotions. This person has become very interested in our little family and she is not even pregnant. There is so much to the story but I am just so sick and tired of it that I do not want to go into it. Is adoption really worth all this??? I have failed when it comes to journals so I love having the blog to post pictures for memories. I do not mind friends and family catching up with us via our blog. However, I do not want women pretending to be pregnant spending time looking at our family :-)

Happy New Year!!!

Every year when New Years eve is close I always say to myself "next year Jamie and I will get dresses up and go out" This year it was way too cold to even think about going out. We enjoyed staying home with the kids and having a few friends over. Tina came with fireworks. We had some dinky fireworks but nothing like Tina and Scott's. I think I saw Jamie glowing as he looked through the bag (ha! ha!) The kids enjoyed the fireworks and Ryan enjoyed drawing on my walls with black marker (thank heaven for Mr. Clean Magic eraser). The only two pictures we took were of me holding the Richins new addition and then their 3 year old falling asleep on Aubree's' lap. We hope everyone had a very safe and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!